In between thinking about dear dead George and the lyrics of a Kooks song, I was struck with an epiphany. I realized that I am grateful for you. Really, I am. In many ways, however indirectly, (and I'm sure this is not the effect that you have initially intended to have on us) you have helped us grow stronger together, more firm in resolutions made in light of new wisdoms. Thank you for forcing me to see h0w important it is to remain standing on tiptoe, for making me understand concepts that I refused to acknowledge, for letting me realize that other people are capable of intricate and contradictory feelings. Thank you for reminding me everyday about the futility of love and how essential this quality is to someone who loves. I am happier now, I suppose. But I still keep tabs; there are still days when I wish nothing but the worst for you. In your photos, you seem happy. Two years ago, this would have irked me no end. But it doesn't bother me as much now. I no longer see your existence as an affliction that needs to be remedied.

This slow process of forgiving makes me feel good.