My friend sends me poems during the days when I tell her that
I don't feel at all like myself. Because she is good, she believes
in me. She also believes that what other people say will convince
me that life is wonderful. There are days when I do not
want words; there are even whole months when I feel
that water is not enough. For example, on the way
home today, I sat close to a stranger and
challenged myself to stare intently at his mouth for a full
minute. This man never snuck glances at me; transfixed
as he was by everything else. I envied
his wonder. I'd like to pluck it out of his ears and attach it
to the side of my left shoulder so that everyone could see
it and say So that's wonder! Wow! Where'd you get it?
But I couldn't do it because I considered the man, how
bereft this stranger would be without it. There are days
when looking at the world seems
as strange as mistakenly stepping into a
house of mirrors. You look so
much like Dolly Parton, it kills you.
I am so petrified, I never think to look up.