Today, I added

around 9 new blog links to my Google Reader account and have read 165 entries from different blogs. Eight full hours of nothingness. Sarap.

Yes, officer, I was in the office that whole time.

People are paying me to do nothing.

I don't have a problem with that. I guess you do, though.

Today, I wanted

to tell you to stop...telling...me...what...to...effing...do. When you made that last crack, I just wanted you to have it. You are not the boss of me. And you have to accept the fact that you will never be.

Today, too, I realized

that it's so easy to point out other people's flaws. People who feel good about themselves diss people who don't. People who believe in a higher power smirk at the ones who can care less.

So honey, when you tell the world how good and blessed you are, leave the other half of that equation out of it. In this lifetime, the only wrong answers are the ones we so adamantly profess are right. I hope you know that by now.

Today, I also came to the conclusion

that most of the time, I seem to want to eat more than I can chew. After office hours, P and K and I went to Festival's Food Court to grab a bite. It was a fantabulous street food fest and I loved it loved it loved it. I hope I can get to do that again.

Today, when we were waiting for K,

P and I headed out to National Bookstore. This will sound pathetic but I haven't done anything spontaneous in a looooong time. And believe me, the trip to the bookstore can be categorized as just that! I didn't get to buy anything and guess what, I never even knew there was a constant sale going on in there. Jesus. Who would I have to kill to get these kinds of information? I'm just so glad P asked me to tag along or else the whole day would have seemed more humdrum than it already was.

Today, I would like for you

to read this. It will inspire you. Oh yes, it will inspire you.

I am a creature of want.

All the things I want translate into things I need. I do not know if this poses any real danger of any kind since I've been this way my whole life.

Especially when it comes to books. When does one ever not need books? The thought is ridiculous. So when he told me earlier that I shouldn't buy any more books because I still have a lot of unread ones dying to be used, I felt slightly annoyed. But I didn't let on because I remember asking him to help me control my spending habits (prolly a week ago) because my budget's pretty tight right now. It's just weird 'cause no one has ever told me to not buy books. My parents would have maimed anyone who controlled my book-buying. But it's irrational to feel angry since I was the one who asked him to help me out in the first place. So whatthefuck, right?

Missy, a lot of people are angry

not because they want to seem cool, not because they want other people to admire them for how detached they seem. Some people are angry and sad and think that the world's unfair because some things that you can't even imagine happened to them.

I'm not saying that you're wrong. No one is. Just be a bit more compassionate. Then maybe, just maybe, you can convince some of us to live in your world's terms.

Oh, and have I told you

that I've already gotten those eye glasses that I've been waiting for for quite some time? It's uber-kapal and makes me look like a total geekazoid. Which I like.

Pictures to follow. Hehehe

Sometimes, it takes real effort to not expect anything in return.

I steel myself against all these bad vibes but here it is. Here is the disappointment, followed by the what-ifs. Regrets come last. They always do.

I have been happily loved as a child.

I seldom felt neglected. I did not have to live up to anyone's set standards (until now, baby). I do not know where this hatred is coming from. I tell myself that the world is not so bad. There are still plenty of satisified people so it can't all be hell and damnation around here. But why do I feel so down and out most days?

I hope that you feel better.

And oh yes, that other thing, too.